Characters:
1. Sutradhaar: The storyteller with the Dafli.
2. Pappu & Pinky: The “Laila-Majnu” tourists who want to carve their names everywhere.
3. Selfie-Star: A tourist who only cares about “The Gram,” even if they are stepping on history.
4. The Monument (Itihaas): An actor dressed in stone-colored clothes, looking majestic but wounded.
5. The Guard/Guide: The one trying to maintain order.
[OPENING]
(The team enters in a rhythmic march. They form a shape of a dome or a grand gate with their hands.)
All: (Beat) Tak-Dhin! Tak-Dhinnn… TAKK DHINAAA! Sutradhaar: “Ye deewarein boltihain, ye patthar gawah hain!” All: “Hindustan ki shaan hain ye, sadiyon ki panaah hain!”Sutradhaar: “Lekin aaj… in deewaron par ‘Itihaas’ nahi…” All: (Mocking) “Aaj in deewaron par ‘Pappu ❤️ Pinky‘ likha jata hai!”
Sutradhaar: “Suno! Suno! Suno! Humari virasat (heritage) ki dard-bhari dastaan suno!”
[SCENE 1]
(Pappu and Pinky enter, holding hands, looking at the imaginary monument walls.)
Pappu: “Pinky, dekho! 500 saal purana qila (fort). Kitna romantic hai na? Is deewar par hum apna naam likhenge, taaki hamara pyaar bhi 500 saal tak amar rahe!”
Pinky: “Oh Pappu! Kitna romantic idea hai. Mere paas ek tez ‘Chabi’ (key) hai,issey likhdo ..(scratching) !”
(They start mimicking scratching a wall. The Monument Actor flinches in pain with every scratch.)
Monument: (Crying out softly) “Aah! Ye Inki ‘Mohabbat’ hai ya mere liye ‘Musaibat’? Tumne toh meri khaal hi cheer di!”
Guard: (Running in) “arey hato yahan se! Ye kya kar rahe ho? Deewar kharab mat karo, jurmana (fine) lagega!”
Pappu: (Arrogantly) “Arre bhai sahab, thoda sa hi toh likha hai. Konsaye krne se tumaharaqila gir jayega? Itne saalon se khada hai, mere ek ‘Dil’ banane se kya hoga?”
[SCENE 2]
(Selfie-Star enters, pouting and posing. She finishes a bottle of juice and a packet of chips.)
Selfie-Star: “Hiee guys! Check out this ancient vibe! #Heritage #History #TravelQueen.”
(She throws the empty plastic bottle and chips packet right at the foot of the Monument actor. She then tries to climb on a ‘no-entry’ ledge for a better angle.)
Sutradhaar: (Stopping the action) “Madam! Photo toh ‘A-One’ aayi hai, par aapke peeche jo ‘Kachra’ hai, uspr konsa filter lgana hai?”
Selfie-Star: “kya yaar ! Itna bada ground hai, subha safai karamchari (sweepers) aayengy na , humara kaam hai tax bharna , Safai unka kaam hai yaar !”
[SCENE 3]
(The Monument actor steps forward. The music turns heavy and emotional.)
Monument: > “Main sirf patthar nahi hoon… main ‘Gawah’ hoon!
Maine badalte huye zamane dekhe hain, maine jung dekhi hai, maine jeet dekhi hai. Main tumhari pehchan hoon, tumhara fakhr (pride) hoon.
Par jab tum mujh par thukte (spit) ho, jab mujh par apna naam khodte ho … Toh mujhe lagtahai ki maine waqt ki maar toh seh li, par apne hi logon ki ‘Bad-tameezi’ nahi seh pa raha!”
Sutradhaar: “Dosto! Kya hum apne ghar ki deewaron par aise naam likhte hain? Kya hum apne drawing room mein bhi aise hi chips ke packet phenkte hain?”
All: “NAHI! KABHI NAHI!”
Sutradhaar: “Toh phir ye ‘Virasat’ par ye julm kyun? Ye shahar, ye desh… hamara ghar hi toh hai!”
[SCENE 4]
Pappu: (Looking at the scratched wall) “Mujhe maaf kar do. Maine socha tha ye sirf ekpatthar hai… par ye toh hamari ‘Shaan’ hai. Agar ye mita di, toh hamara itihas bhi mit jayega.”
Selfie-Star: (Picking up her bottle) “Main bhi ‘Clean India’ ki posts toh karti hoon, par aajkhud hi ganda kar rahi thi. Sorry!”
Guard: “Saheb, tourist aate hain toh shahar ki kamai hoti hai… par agar shahar hi ganda hogaya, toh kal koi dekhne nahi aayega!”
[ FINALE ]
(All actors stand in a semicircle around the Monument actor, who is now standing tall and proud again.)
Sutradhaar: “Suno re dosto! Swachh Survekshan ho ya na ho, hamara farz hai ki hum apnidharohar ko mehfooz rakhein!”
All: (In a rhythmic chant)
“Itihaas ke pannon ko… kooda mat banao!” (Clap-Clap) “Deewaron par naam nahi… izzat kamao!” (Clap-Clap) “Kachra dustbin mein… shaan hamari dil mein!” (Clap-Clap) “Virasat hamari hai… zimmedari bhi hamari hai!” (Clap-Clap)
Sutradhaar: “Agli baar jab kisi purani deewar ko dekho, toh uspar likhna mat… use ‘Mahesoos’ karna!”
All: (Shouting) SWACHH BHARAT! HAMARI DHAROHAR, HAMARI SHAAN! JAI HIND!
(Fast drum beat ends the play as the actors take a deep bow.)